Article Source

This article has been imported from another website via it's XML-feed.

Date: 

4 weeks 4 days ago

Original article: 

http://www.atmayogi.com/node/921

H.H. Bhakti Vidya Purna Swami gave this very insightful and thought-provoking class on the grhasta ashram (married life) when he visited Brisbane a few months ago.

It is full of examples and analogies that I had never heard before, which is unusual for a class in an ISKCON temple, which usually consists of refreshing and reinforcing things that are already in my head.

I like the feeling of neural rewiring, so I enjoyed it. Useful information too.

by Sita-pati das

In the Vedic conception of marriage, which is the social model used by ISKCON, marriage is not simply a commitment or contract between two people—it is a contract between two people and the community.

Especially when people are married in the temple in front of the Deities, the spiritual master, the sacred fire, and the devotional community.

Later on, if they decide to get divorced they are not simply breaking their commitment with each other, they are breaking their contract with the community—effectively they are excommunicating themselves from the community.

Article Source

This article has been imported from another website via it's XML-feed.

Author: 

Kaunteya Das

Date: 

11 weeks 1 day ago

Original article: 

http://iskconoclast.blogspot.com/2008/07/grihamedhi-is-better-than-nothing.html

by Kaunteya das

At times the standards of our "grihasthas" are so low and disfunctional (ethically, spiritually, economically, etc.) that I am thinking of starting a campaign to promote grihamedhi consciousness, in the spirit of "something is better than nothing."

In ISKCON's pshyche the word grihamedhi represents (and with reason) an unacceptable social stereotype. "The grhastha means he is making the best use of a bad bargain. And the grhamedhi means he is animal. " Srila Prabhupada said in a Gita lecture in London, on 20 August 1973. Such references have created an impression of the grihamedhi as an unspeakably corrupted being, a detestable individual functioning on a level of debasement to which devotees could never possibly plunge?

"Child-worship is more important than deity-worship. If you cannot spend time with your child, then stop the duties of pujari. These children are given to us by Krishna. They are Vaisnavas and we must be very careful to protect them. These are not ordinary childern, they are Vaikuntha children, and we are very fortunate we can give them chance to advance further in Krishna Consciousness. That is very great responsibility, do not neglect it or be confused."

Letter to Arundhati, July 30, 1972

I lifted this from the excellent Krishna Kathamrita Bindu eMag:

by Sri Srimad Gour Govinda Swami

Commitment is an essential feature of all devotee relationships, especially the marriage relationship.

All of us have ups and downs, periods of craziness, and periods of clarity. Of course, as we become purified, situated in goodness and, ultimately, transcendental, we fluctuate less and less in our mood and character. But while our material conditioning still has a grip on us we experience periods of more or less Krishna consciousness.

This been said, devotees who have seriously committed themselves to applying the process have in effect declared, by this demonstration of commitment, that they deeply value purity of heart and aspire for it themselves. When a person shows such commitment and dedication, Krishna takes a personal interest in them and is committed to them in return. As devotees we must do the same for each other.

[Video about a Buddhist couple's marriage experiment inside.]

...In a study involving Dutch, American and Kurdish students, psychologists in the Netherlands found that...young people invariably considered [their] potential mate's attractiveness the most important quality, whereas parents uniformly paid more attention to the suitors' social background or group affiliation -- race, religious background and social class...

...Parents and offspring clash, the researchers argued, because their genetic self-interests, while overlapping, are not identical.

by Karnamrita dasa

There are different opinions regarding social issues or philosophy among devotees. Any perspective, side of an issue, or point of the Krishna conscious philosophy can be carried to an extreme in relation to others.

I tend to be on the middle of most issues, much to the chagrin of those who strongly advocate different perspective or causes. I do have strong opinions on certain issues, yet I am usually not on the front lines of confrontation. Ideally, even when I disagree I try to see the other perspective, and understand why the person holds the conviction they do.

by Mantrini devi dasi

The North American Grihastha Vision Team (GVT) held their annual meeting in Prabhupada Village, North Carolina, the last week of April. The 12-person team reviewed their year's accomplishments and planned for the coming year. The future plans include rolling out a new schedule for the four-day VTE Grihastha Training Course, "Strengthening the Bonds that Free Us" (The next training will be held in Alachua, July 13-15, 2007, contact: gvisionteam108@yahoo.com), the development of one-day "mini" courses on such topics as Parenting, Finding a Worthy Partner, Communication Skills, and Problem Solving Skills; and expanding the organization to include interested persons as Grihastha Vision Team "associates."

Formed four years ago, the GVT is a group of devotees who are either registered counselors or have training in marriage education/preparation. It is the mission of the North American Grihastha Vision Team to support, strengthen, educate and enliven the individuals, couples and families who are or will be involved with the grihastha ashram. The GVT works with ISKCON temples throughout North America.

From Kripamoya Prabhu's blog, The Vaishnava Voice.

...

If we truly believe what our founder-acarya has told us, then we will view his movement - our movement - as a body which can bring about a spiritual revolution in human society. Nothing less. And that means our marriages must be revolutionary. Our marriages must be seen not only as our commitment to each other but as an offering to others who are yet to join us. When people see happy couples and happy families they will want to join us. If we have made a sacred and God-witnessed commitment to marriage then we must learn the scientific principles of how to create an enduring, unbreakable partnership. We must discuss our marriages, honour them, and do everything to support and protect them. We must speak up when we see couples in difficulty, help them, and never, ever, suggest the easy way out. The rewards for us all are enormous: emotionally, socially, and spiritually. And your great-grandchildren – and the future devotees of ISKCON - will thank you from their hearts.

Lecture by HH Radhanath Maharaja At the Wedding of Bhavatarine and Govinda Ghosh Govardhan Puja, New Vrndavana, October 25, 2002

... In 1969 when Prabhupada was here in New Vrndavana, he performed a marriage. And in his lecture he spoke something that fascinated me a lot. He explained how the duty of the husband and the wife were to dedicate each other to make their partner happy. Because Prabhupada said without happiness there cannot really be a growth of bhakti. It is actually the responsibility of husband and wife to keep each other happy in devotional service. ...

Marriage - considered as a legally sanctioned union of one man and one woman - plays a vital role in preserving the common good and promoting the welfare of children. In virtually every known human society, the institution of marriage provides order and meaning to adult sexual relationships and, more fundamentally, furnishes the ideal context for the bearing and rearing of the young. The health of marriage is particularly important in a free society such as our own, which depends upon citizens to govern their private lives and rear their children responsibly, so as to limit the scope, size, and power of the state. Marriage is also an important source of social, human, and financial capital for children, especially for children growing up in poor, disadvantaged communities who do not have ready access to other sources of such capital. Thus, from the point of view of spouses, children, society, and the polity, marriage advances the public interest.

But in the last forty years, marriage and family have come under increasing pressure from the modern state, the modern economy, and modern culture. Family law in all fifty states and most countries in the Western world has facilitated unilateral divorce, so that marriages can be easily and effectively terminated at the will of either party. Changing sexual mores have made illegitimacy and cohabitation a central feature of our social landscape. The products of Madison Avenue and Hollywood often appear indifferent to, if not hostile towards, the norms that sustain decent family life. New medical technology has made it easier for single mothers and same-sex couples to have children not only outside of marriage, but even without sexual intercourse. Taken together, marriage is losing its preeminent status as the social institution that directs and organizes reproduction, childrearing, and adult life.

By Jaya Sila das.

This document, located here, was brought to my attention via email. Apparently it was used to accompany a VIHE- or MIHE-course about the grihastha asram, but will be useful in itself, containing hundreds of quotes from Srila Prabhupada's lectures, letters, and talks.

 

Most devotees' lives and views on devotional service change as their ashram changes. When several devotees pass through ashram changes at approximately the same time-or even if one respected devotee within a temple changes his ashram-a temple can become affected.

"My parents are hopeless! They will never change. What is the use of associating with them?" Try to remember your own beginning steps in Krsna consciousness. Did you accept everything at once? You were young, curious, and you wanted to join the movement. Your parents are older, more fixed in their ways, and above all, they didn't make a decision to join!

I found this article on www.chakra.org where it was posted as reply to another devotee's request for help. I think it's relevant to our web site, since many congregational devotees will find themselves in similar situations - already or eventually.

Interfaith Marriage

by Satyavati dd

Posted April 2, 2006 on chakra (article link)

I have been a devotee since 2000 and was initiated in 2003. On the other hand, I have been with my husband for sixteen years. He is not a devotee. People frequently ask me how we manage to have a successful marriage in this situation, and that is why I am writing to you.

I don't know your specific situation and how it may be similar or different than ours, but over the last six years I've had a lot of time to consider and ponder this subject, and to discuss it with other devotees I know. So I humbly offer my thoughts for your consideration.

One of the implications or complications of the expansion to the new facility, is the issue of the Krishna Kids Club - our program for children on Sundays. We have this program for a number of reasons:

1. To enable the teaching to go on in the main space without the interruption of children in the audience
2. To enable people to come to hear, even when they have children they are responsible for
3. To enable us to give the children an appropriate experience of Krishna Consciousness, targeted to their needs
4. To encourage children to drag their parents along

It has actually become a very popular program, and part of the drawcard for many parents. I know that for many months Param or I would walk the streets outside with Prahlad during the teaching. Once we got the Loft facility next door to Govinda’s restaurant, where the Sunday feast is held, we had a space to go with Prahlad during the program, and we knew there were many others in the same boat as us. So we launched the Krishna Kids Club program under the leadership of Channell.

This essay has been printed consecutively in CP-Journal 15-17 and was published on the old web site, too. It's not a new publication by any means, but the subject matter remains relevant: Difficulties householder-devotees have to overcome in order to become grhasthas, following the instructions of Srila Prabhupada.

I believe that family life, the grihastha asrama, is a theme of universal interest. Some will get married and some will not, some will have children and some will not. But also those who don't get married and those who have already surpassed this phase of life will greatly benefit by knowing the basic dynamics, the rapport of weights and measures, the values of family life in the Vedic-Vaisnava civilization. In the past so much damage has been done by people—who had no positive experience in this area—who tried, disastrously, to handle the life of others. Therefore those directly involved in family life—as well as those who have to come in touch with those directly involved—should know about the fundamental principles and values on which family relations are based. To know such fundamentals of the grihastha asrama is an integral part of spiritual realization, not because it's in itself something spiritual, but because it's a social organization problematic to spiritual realization.

Today I read the article The Grihastha Vision Team by Krshnanandini devi dasi, in the previous issue of the Congregational Development Journal. It's encouraging to know that some of the qualified senior members of our society started that kind of project. It seems that the importance of properly established family life has been recognized as a top priority in our ISKCON society.

Krishnanandini mataji quoted the words of Their Holinesses Radhanath and Bhakti-tirtha Maharajas, who both said this was the most important work of our society today, due to the simple reason that going through family life is an unavoidable experience for most of the people of this world, including devotees.

By Krishnanandini devi dasi.

His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada arrived on the shores of North America in 1965. He came to bring hope to a hopeless society. The deterioration of family, marriage and community was evident all over the United States. "There is practically no more family life," Srila Prabhupada wrote to Pope Paul VI in 1968, "and the union of man and woman is gradually degrading to the standard of sexuality." Nonetheless, in Krishna consciousness families can flourish: "Our policy of Krishna Consciousness is very nice." Srila Prabhupada wrote to Gurudasa in 1968, "We are offering people good family life with faithful wives in Krishna Consciousness. Similarly, able husbands in Krishna Consciousness so that the younger generation will be happy to have nice home, nice wife, nice food, nice dress, nice philosophy of life, nice culture and ultimately, nice Krishna."

Author: Maren Schmidt

---

Some ideas for families who still have TV (you can add Krishna conscious ideas to the ones listed here).

---

"All my three- and four-year-old want to do is watch TV. They fuss about having to turn off the TV at dinner and bedtime. They wouldn't even play with their friends yesterday because their favorite shows were on. I think I've let it get out of hand," lamented Robin.

I was impressed to hear Robin take responsibility for the situation. Television is an easy thing to let take over, with big screens and DVD players, surround sound, 100 cable stations and children's stations.