namahatta.org - Congregational Development Ministry

Further to the previous post - my observation is that in her 20s a female is able to use her physical characteristics to attract partners. Once she goes into her 30s she needs to rely more on her character. Unfortunately, many women endowed with positive and powerful physical characteristics don't feel any need to invest in that, until it's too late...

• Claims 30+ single women have lonely future
• Book is creating heated debate
• Suggests setlling for Mr Second Best

WOMEN searching for Mr Right should do it in their 20s or risk ending up lonely in their 30s.

Or so says author Lori Gottlieb, who has caused a storm in the United States for encouraging single women in their 30s to settle for Mr Second Best or even Mr Right Now.

Her book, Marry Him: The Case For Settling For Mr Good Enough, is creating a heated debate.

Are we aware of the problems of individuals coming out of Brahmacarya life into Grhastha?

Should they be supported, guided?

It is without a shadow of a doubt that temple life is the best, but practicality means that a majority will leave and take up household life.

The transition can be difficult especially when it comes to the job market and finding the balance of work commitments and devotional life something that temple/centre living does not trainee individuals for (this I am lead to believe from what individuals have told me).

Ever wonder why in the well-established liberal democracies all over the world the institution of marriage tends to be in shambles? Here's what John Stuart Mill, one of modern liberalism's foundational thinkers, has to say about it:

The law of servitude in marriage is a monstrous contradiction to all the principles of the modern world, and to all the experience through which those principles have been slowly and painfully worked out. It is the sole case, now that negro slavery has been abolished, in which a human being in the plentitude of every faculty is delivered up to the tender mercies of another human being, in the hope forsooth that this other will use the power solely for the good of the person subjected to it. Marriage is the only actual bondage known to our law. There remain no legal slaves, except the mistress of every house.

The Subjection of Women

H.H. Bhakti Vidya Purna Swami gave this very insightful and thought-provoking class on the grhasta ashram (married life) when he visited Brisbane a few months ago.

It is full of examples and analogies that I had never heard before, which is unusual for a class in an ISKCON temple, which usually consists of refreshing and reinforcing things that are already in my head.

I like the feeling of neural rewiring, so I enjoyed it. Useful information too.

by Sita-pati das

In the Vedic conception of marriage, which is the social model used by ISKCON, marriage is not simply a commitment or contract between two people—it is a contract between two people and the community.

Especially when people are married in the temple in front of the Deities, the spiritual master, the sacred fire, and the devotional community.

Later on, if they decide to get divorced they are not simply breaking their commitment with each other, they are breaking their contract with the community—effectively they are excommunicating themselves from the community.

by Kaunteya das

At times the standards of our "grihasthas" are so low and disfunctional (ethically, spiritually, economically, etc.) that I am thinking of starting a campaign to promote grihamedhi consciousness, in the spirit of "something is better than nothing."

In ISKCON's pshyche the word grihamedhi represents (and with reason) an unacceptable social stereotype. "The grhastha means he is making the best use of a bad bargain. And the grhamedhi means he is animal. " Srila Prabhupada said in a Gita lecture in London, on 20 August 1973. Such references have created an impression of the grihamedhi as an unspeakably corrupted being, a detestable individual functioning on a level of debasement to which devotees could never possibly plunge?

"Child-worship is more important than deity-worship. If you cannot spend time with your child, then stop the duties of pujari. These children are given to us by Krishna. They are Vaisnavas and we must be very careful to protect them. These are not ordinary childern, they are Vaikuntha children, and we are very fortunate we can give them chance to advance further in Krishna Consciousness. That is very great responsibility, do not neglect it or be confused."

Letter to Arundhati, July 30, 1972

I lifted this from the excellent Krishna Kathamrita Bindu eMag:

by Sri Srimad Gour Govinda Swami

Commitment is an essential feature of all devotee relationships, especially the marriage relationship.

All of us have ups and downs, periods of craziness, and periods of clarity. Of course, as we become purified, situated in goodness and, ultimately, transcendental, we fluctuate less and less in our mood and character. But while our material conditioning still has a grip on us we experience periods of more or less Krishna consciousness.

This been said, devotees who have seriously committed themselves to applying the process have in effect declared, by this demonstration of commitment, that they deeply value purity of heart and aspire for it themselves. When a person shows such commitment and dedication, Krishna takes a personal interest in them and is committed to them in return. As devotees we must do the same for each other.